I’d like to introduce you to a new song. I wrote this two months ago and it’s one of those tunes that I can’t get out of my head. When Gray Duck Vodka asked me to record a song to end the KFAN Virtual Rube Party, I decided to take a chance and feature this song. The response was very positive so we are posting it here for those that want to hear it again. I will definitely be recording a full band version of the song at some point, but I’m really pleased with this stripped down version, even with my below average guitar playing.
“Pretend” is a song about reaching a crossroads. I’ve been shocked to find out how often that happens in one lifetime. The song tells the story of a person facing the second half of his life and wondering if all of his good, useful days are behind him. In other words, it’s autobiographical. After two verses of questions and desperation, the bridge comes along and changes the path of the song.
“The phone alarm isn’t ringing...”
That line and this entire song came about after an afternoon nap on a day when I was feeling particularly worthless. My alarm went off during a dream in which I was on stage and singing. I was full of joy. I was not worthless. I was not too old to do the things that make me feel whole. I opened my eyes and felt a sense of calm and the fire of inspiration. I walked downstairs, grabbed my guitar, and this song came out of me in a rush.
Thanks for giving this a listen and for being a part of my journey. I hope you find inspiration in this song the way I found inspiration in that dream.
Much Love,
Chris Hawkey
6-28-20
"Play Pretend" by Chris Hawkey
I’m trying to find a purpose
Not having Any luck
The songs have all been written
The children all grown up.
All that’s left to do here
Is waking up for bed
And trying to quiet
The voices in my head.
What have I become?
What is left to do?
This game is meant for young men
The stages I’ve been through
Have led me to the middle
Which feels much like the end
I can’t find a purpose
And it’s too hard to pretend.
I’m trying to find a purpose
But the growing has all stopped
The days all lead to nothing
And the points have all been dropped
And I keep driving circles
Like I haven’t reached the end
Pretending I don’t see it
Again again again.
What have I become?
What is left to do?
This game is meant for young men
The stages I’ve been through
Have led me to the middle
Which feels just like the end
I can’t find a purpose
And it’s too hard to pretend.
The phone alarm is ringing
I was dreaming I was singing
The singer he was smiling
Trying to tell me something.
What have You become?
There’s so much left to do?
I know you’re not a young man
But there’s more stages for you
And what’s wrong with the middle
Why’s that such a sin
Now go fulfill your purpose
You were born to play pretend.
Now the show it has begun
I brought the band and the crew
I know I’m not a young man
But I’ll wear myself out for you
I’ll stand right in the middle
Of this stage once again
Do my best to make you happy
Until the very end
We can play pretend
We can play pretend
Until the very end
